"Peonies and Boney Knees?"

"Why Peonies and Boney Knees?" Is a question I've been asked before.
Ok, I have never been asked-but I feel like its a question some people may wonder, so, I decided I would address it now.

When I first started this blog, I was (and still am) going through a weird time in my life. I was so confused about my hobbies and interest trying desperately to find a niche. I had my YouTube channel in full swing, but it wasn't something I absolutely LOVED doing. It made time pass by, I got use of my DSLR and I got to use iMovie and other softwares for editing so I continued. My favourite part of YouTube was editing the video, making the thumbnail and watching other peoples videos.

As of recently I have been absent on making YouTube videos. Now, will I ever return? Maybe. But right now, all I know is that it's not something I miss, and although it was fun while I was doing it, all in all felt pointless and wasn't worth the work I was putting into them.

I am currently one of Libero Networks Vloggers which I really like doing. Its very different then the comedic sketch comedy I had been doing on my RosalinaRosebud channel, and so far, I enjoy it. Don't get me wrong.

I started this blog as a beauty and lifestyle blog because I knew that besides comedy, those were things I was interested in. I assumed that it would give me a good writing outlet and maybe I would hit the jackpot in hobby-land.

But I am still not passionate about anything. Nothing makes me want to get up in the morning and really strive to do because I know I'm half decent at it, and it is fun to do. I didn't love anything. But I loved peonies.

Growing up wasn't fun for me. I mean, I guess it was fun but for the most part all the negative chapters seem to stick out the most: Moving schools in second grade, being bullied up to 8th for my heavy weight, and being diagnosed with clinical depression in the eight grade all stand out when I hear 'growing up'.

Back to talking about my clinical depression diagnosis. 8th grade is a very young age to be diagnosed with an illness like depression. I mean, going through puberty AND depression? A living nightmare. While trying to cope with my depression, my appetite lessened and I began strictly counting calories and exercising. This obsessive behaviour continued up until now when I was diagnosed with Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (EDNOS) with a binge-anorexia merge.

This is where the boney knees comes in. I have my battle wounds and all they are is scars from falling off a bike. Scrapes and bruises from life.

So, thats where the title of this blog comes from!
I have a feeling this post will be more heavily edited once I decide to put more of my story out there, but right now, you know the important stuff.

I don't really know what I'm doing yet, but I'm trying to figure it out.